I smoked pot with John Stamos because I’m invincible Fuck yeah uncle Jesse!I vent about my life to Lindsay Lohan because she stole my bike.
I would never reblog this but i got: I got drink with Lindsay Lohan because I couldn’t find any cocaine to do instead……LIFE
omg tracy that is perfect for you.
I rode a tandem bike with Ke$ha because I’m in love with her….yup <3
I woke up next to Selena Gomez because I’m invincible… lesbian love lmfao!
i rode a tandem bike with barack obama because he stole my bike. how does that work? was i still on the bike when he tried to take it out from under me? so many questions.
i skydived with kanye west because my parents told me to. now I know who that song ‘heartless’ is about.
I woke up naked next to Will Smith because I’m a necrophiliac.
I started a band with Brad Pitt because I’m in love with him
Amelija: I stalked Tiger woods because he stole my bike
